Rockstar Speaks Out, World Listens :-)

Update!  Oh wow!  Update!

Here is the news update you've all been waiting to read!  It is this: I had an absolutely incredible weekend, went waaaay outside of my comfort zone, became one with my "inner rockstar", had some unbelievable experiences, met some inspiring characters... AND signed a contract that said I won't talk about the audition process or reveal the results.  :-)  So I won't!  You'll just have to read this blog post, draw your own conclusions about whether or not I could be the next American Idol, and watch the show in January to know for sure!

What I CAN tell you is that I had a TRULY awesome weekend!  Wow!  On Friday and Saturday, I received more loving emails and voicemails and text messages and blog comments and positive thoughts and energy from so many amazing, supportive, excited, truly wonderful people in my life - and even several from total strangers.  Really.  Loving, touching, caring, and truly supportive!  It was the craziest thing - up until now, I was always terrified at the idea of auditioning for American Idol...  What would people SAY?!  What would my family and friends and co-workers and clients think of me if they found out?  Would they think I've lost my ever-lovin' mind?!  Would they think I have a superiority complex?  That I'm a materialistic, self-centered, Britney Spears wanna-be?  It would be so gosh-darned *uncomfortable*!

Well, all those fears were just simply that: FEARS.  The reality of the situation was that my crazy-ass decision to audition ("crazy-ass" is a technical term, by the way!) ended up really inspiring people.  A LOT of people - of ALL ages and from ALL walks of life!  Get this:  Several people who are very close to me, and who have heard me sing, told me they could actually SEE me going on the show, and winning the entire competition! (Please recognize the magnitude of that statement!)...  Holy cow!  Lots of friends said they wanted me to go out there and show ‘em what I've got - that really pumped me up!  My BOSS told me he was rooting for me (even though if I become the next Idol, I'd probably have to quit my day job!) - wow!  Some folks gave me loving advice to help me stay focused and minimize nerves - thank you!  And bunches of people sent me good old-fashioned love and good luck...  And that's just downright valuable.  And to think, I had been AFRAID of doing this?!  Hmmm.  Perhaps kinda maybe there's a tiny little lesson to be learned...  (http://www.visionforce.com/)

My friend and I arrived in Memphis at 3 p.m. on Friday afternoon, took a cab to the FedEx Forum, and I got my wristband and ticket.  We were told we had just missed the crowd - literally thousands of people had been standing in line since before 6 a.m. that morning, and a large percentage had been camped out overnight.  (Whoa!)  Good thing they still had wristbands and tickets!  Line-up Sunday morning was scheduled for 5 a.m... so we had a day and a half to relax and enjoy Memphis!  Although I had never been to Memphis before, and I really wanted to go exploring, a substantial portion of my free day and a half was spent sleeping!  My job, my recent pace of life, plus my nerves about auditioning for American Idol had me feeling pretty darn tired...

I did go out a little bit, though!  Beale Street in Memphis felt a lot like Bourbon Street in New Orleans.  Lots of blues, lots of jazz/blues musicians playing awesome music on sidewalks, lots of drinking and partying in the streets, etc.  And you know what?  Waiters at restaurants, folks in the hotel, and total strangers kept wishing me luck!  And they actually meant it.  They asked my name, asked me what I was going to sing, asked me where I was from, and told me they'd vote for me if I made it on the show.  And nobody thought I was crazy - they thought it was fantastic that I was willing to go way out on a limb and fly to a distant city for a big, crazy dream!

Sunday morning at 3:30 a.m., the alarm clock went off.  Boom!  Like a bolt of lightning, I was out of bed, in the shower, humming my song and feeling like a champ!  (Very glad I had slept most of the day Saturday!)  And then the nerves kicked in.  Again.  Oh geez.  Am I actually going to DO this?!  Oh geez...  What if I do something stupid?  What if I screw up?  What if the whole world sees me on TV and thinks I've lost my mind?!  Maybe it's not too late to just change my mind and NOT audition.  Wait.  I think I HAVE to audition.  Because now I've told the whole WORLD I'm doing it.  Audrey, you can't stop.  You MUST do this.  Oh no...  Oh YES!  I'm doing it!  I want this!  Yes!  I can see it happening!  I am a ROCKSTAR!  I'm going to DO THIS!  (That really is the type of conversation that goes on inside my head... Am I the only one?)  :-)

We arrived at the FedEx Forum at 4:30 a.m. Sunday morning, and there was already a line of about 6,000 people.  Yes, you read that right.  Six THOUSAND people outside of the arena already.  I got in line feeling like I'd missed the boat.  How in the world was I going to audition now?!  There's six THOUSAND people in front of me...

We sat in line, on the ground, in the dark, with all the others... and passed the time by chatting and meeting the people nearby.  A sweet, beautiful high school senior and her mother from a suburb of Atlanta - - she loves music, and she's following her dream, and her mother is being completely supportive.  Then a fun-loving, genuinely kind, outgoing young woman from Nashville with a very sparkly top and a delightful "twangy" southern accent.  Then a sweet college guy who'd driven in through the night by himself from Baton Rouge, where he's attending LSU.  A young mother who brought her daughter's big stuffed bunny rabbit to remind her how much she's loved.  A light-hearted guy whose friend handed out free egg McMuffins after they realized they'd bought many more than they could actually eat.  In other words: These people were friendly.  These people were supportive.  These people were fun, and NORMAL.  These people were hopeful, and respectful.  It felt incredibly safe.  And you know what?  Everybody was nervous.  And everybody was excited.  A lot of people had traveled from afar - one girl had driven in from Alaska!  Everybody was aware that this was something pretty crazy to do...  It was an experience one does NOT experience everyday.

Okay, so the actual auditions I legally can't talk about... I signed a contract saying I wouldn't!  You have to watch the show in January!!  What I CAN tell you is that there were over 18,000 people in the arena, which means that over 9,000 of us actually auditioned!  Can you believe that?!  There were a LOT of VERY talented singers there.  The weirdos and people completely out-of-touch with reality were in the VAST minority.

Sunday evening, once I finally left the arena, I partied like a rockstar!  I got quite happily drunk at dinner, had a big ol' brownie sundae for dessert, talked about all the exciting things that are next, thought about the people in my life and how awesome each and every one of them is, felt super-duper happy, and danced on the street like nobody was watching!  It was faaaantastic!

I would like to offer up a deep, true, hearty THANK YOU to every single person who sent me well-wishes and good vibes this weekend!  I felt them... and they were strong and beautiful, and they absolutely did pay off!!!  There is so much connectedness and love in the world when we just open ourselves up to it... and we're all a LOT more similar than we tend to want to recognize on any given day or in any given situation...

I hope this crazy story inspires YOU to get yourself out there and do something "crazy" as well!  It's FUN, people!  I hope you get a crazy idea, seriously consider doing it, feel the fear, and then just go do the thing anyway if it's what really calls to you.  I hope you listen to your brain, listen to your heart, and then GO with your gut.  I hope you find the courage to step up and FIND your next adventure!  Life is short...  What if it really could be exciting, and meaningful, and inspiring, and FUN?  What if people began insisting that it MUST be all of those things?

What if...???  Stay tuned...

Your Rainbow Rockstar,

Audrey  :-)